June 2015 – My Life as a Learning Designer

I’ve never been the one to live life by another person standards yet growing up, I lived my life for my parents. All my father wanted from me was to go to school, get good grades, graduate college with no babies. My mom she had similar dreams such as me becoming a graduate from Michigan State University because it was something she desired growing up. She also wanted me to be expressive, a leader, and self sufficient graphic badge of honor . All while obtaining these “badges of honor” these skills sets for my parents, there was something shaping me to be who I am within this moment.

As my late Uncle Jr would say, “shiidd everything happens for a reason skinny.” See I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to make your parents proud. As parents we all want to see our children grow and succeed in ways we never could. I’ll never fault my parents for wanting my life to be better than their situation so they projected a bit of their desires onto myself. One lesson I did learn, is that you should allow your children to be their true selves even if you don’t quite understand. My parents sacrificed so much to see me succeed in life even their own personal happiness but that’s another story. I’m so blessed to have a close relationship with both my parents in this moment of time.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXeXV0vgrtY)!

So I graduated from college, married at a very young age, had three brilliant children, investment homes, 4 karat ring etc. even took family vacations twice a year. Deep inside as I was smiling living the american dream of marriage and being grateful for the experiences I was seeking, yet I knew I wasn’t living MY LIFE the way God envisioned for me. There was something crying out GET IT TOGETHER keesav! LOL I realized the learning path I had chosen for myself was built upon social constructs created as a false ecosystem of what life should be. I really didn’t believe in the white picket fences, love at first site, or the dog in the yard. So I grew up. Then embraced my change. Over the past three years I have created a new learning ecosystem for my life and started to envision different learning paths of my choice to take, with God by my side. For a long period in my life I stopped listening to my intuition until I decided to take the chance, step outside this created box and start to live for the first time in my life. This road hasn’t been easy. I’m learning so much about simple things in life. Hell…its been a pretty colorful ride! See when you’re living in the moment there isn’t a clear smooth road with bells, whistles, and smiles. Everyone is not going to embrace you because of the different choices you decide to take that doesn’t fit within the box. Many call it the road less traveled. It can be a very lonely road… There’s too much stimulus of not being then there is in being. Conformity is easy. I tried it. As Rita Mae Brown states: